FORMAL
LANGUAGE
NOTE:
You may want to save considerations of formal language for second and
subsequent drafts. It is not a good idea to try to address all of these points
of writing in the first draft. Get something down, then revise, revise, revise.
What is formal language? As an approximation, it is the written
language of documents that are open to public inspection. It contrasts with private documents (e.g., a
letter to your family) and with oral English. This means that you will have to learn formal language‑‑this
takes practice.
Formal language differs from oral speech
for two primary reasons:
1.
unlike speech, the writer is often not present to elaborate or explain what he
or she means.
2.
the writer has time that a speaker does not have to perfect the language of a
document.
The cardinal characteristic of formal
language is the careful thought given to all levels of language structure‑‑choice
of individual words, structure of phrases, sentences and paragraphs,
relationships among paragraphs, and the structure of the whole document. Here are some examples:
1. Use words in their literal
senses. Here are some examples of
lapses: "The authors wanted to
see if their hypothesis was correct."
"Their explanations were just stabs in the dark." "The test was hard (difficult)." "These results faded into the
background [were de‑emphasized]." "The participants figured
out [discovered] the deception."
"They wrote up the result with a lead in [beginning]
about the rapid pick up (increase) in results that occurred near the tail
end of the experiment. Phrases that include a verb and a preposition (e.g.,
pick up, look at, send out) and contractions (e.g., didn’t) are too informal or
colloquial for the types of papers you’ll write in this class.
2. As the author of a literature review
or proposal, you and your subjective experiences should be de‑emphasized. For example: "The authors wondered whether...[we aren't really
interested in what they wondered]."
"When I read the results section, that's when I really got
interested." "I finally
figured out what they had done."
Reporting these subjective experiences is inappropriate.
3. Unlike speech, sentences are
thoughtfully structured. The fillers,
meaningless phrases, and redundancies of casual speech are removed during
revising.
4. Revise prose to find the best
ordering of words, sentences, and phrases within sentences.
5. Choose the right word. This, along with proper order, can prevent
readers from thinking of concept A (even for a split second) when you want them
to think of concept B. "Rapid
righting with his left hand prevented the boat from capsizing."
6.
Transitions: Help the reader anticipate
relationships between preceding and following information. "However, in contrast, next, on the
contrary, in addition, an example of", etc. can be used to portray the relationships among ideas, especially
between paragraphs. Don't make the
reader guess. You can use seriation
(first, second, third...) and other devices to make clear the structure of
relationships among ideas.
7. Say only what needs to be said. Make every sentence count.
8. Formal language is not flowery,
indirect, fancy, nor is it wise to use long words, rare words, etc. Using big
words won’t make you look smart, it will just make you look like you’re trying
to look smart (not a good thing). It’ll also confuse your point. Flowery
phrases get in the way of the meaning of what you’re trying to say.
Which of the following sounds best? "The authors came to the decision that
it would be necessary to execute the various stages of the experiment in an
external, unbounded area in the absence of sunlight." "The authors performed the experiment
outdoors at night." "The
authors figured they needed to look and see what would happen when they did the
experiment, like, under the stars."
Which of these is clearest? "The participants could afford not to
have to be concerned with diplomacy."
OR "The participants should not worry about diplomacy." (The student who wrote the first version
objected to the suggested simpler revision because the first was
"classier".)
Modified from a class handout by Jack
Yates.